“DAWWWWWN! Is this YOU?????” My dad’s voice booms through the telephone.
“Yes Dad, it’s the one and only ME!”
These are our standard lead lines when we talk over the telephone. It makes my heart smile to hear his happy go lucky 78 year old voice.
“How’s it going, Dad? How are your blood work numbers? Everything balanced at the moment?”
“Everything’s fine! Nothing new.”
“No more bloody noses taking you to the ENT for a packing?”
He chuckles. “Nope. I’m fine. Everything’s good.”
He’d tell me that even if everything was less than fine.
“I do have a good one for ya, though.”
He goes on to tell me how he’s been having heel itch.
“It started about two weeks ago. I went to sleep and woke up a few hours later and my heel was itching! I tried cortisone cream and all the other creams in the house. Nothing was working.”
“Heel itch?” I question laughing. I listen as he continues on with his story.
“So, the next night when I woke up with heel itch, I said to myself, “Self, try a bag of peas.” Mom didn’t have any peas so I had to use beans.” He laughs and I laugh at his laugh.
“I sat on the chair with my heel on the bag of beans for a bit and went back to bed. Slept for a few more hours and then I was back in the freezer for the beans.”
As I am listening to his story. The image of him sitting in the family room, in the dark, with his foot on a bag of frozen beans makes me smile. Some people could be telling the same story with woo and angst, but not my Dad.
The story went on. He tried making bags of ice cubes to numb the whole foot but that didn’t do much more than the bag of beans. So off to the doctor he went. There, nothing was found but they did give him some medication to try. As of last night, it wasn’t doing much.
“My doctor said that is possible that it’s a nerve. I’ll go for a follow up on Tuesday and they’ll probably send me to a foot doctor. Then probably a shot of cortisone. That oughta take care of my heel itch. And THAT ‘S my story.” He concludes with a life is all peaches and cream tone!
“Heel itch, Dad. Heel itch. Well it’s not your heart, you’re not in congestive heart failure, your pacemaker and defibrillator are working, and you aren’t having a disastrous bloody nose. So, in the grand scheme of things, I think we’ll take the heel itch.”
“You are right on that one, Dawn!! Here’s your mother.” I hear him yell, “Jaaane!”
“Hi Dawn!” My mother’s calmer, chipper voice hits my ear.
“Heel itch, Mom. Really heel itch?”